{"product_id":"mlkfrts-certifiable-vintage-milk-bottle-t-shirt","title":"MLKFRTS \"Certifiable\" Vintage Milk Jug T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eMeet the official uniform of the lactose‑challenged elite. This tee features our smug, gas‑emitting vintage milk jug style bottle — the undisputed mascot of digestive rebellion — stamped with \u003cstrong\u003eCertified Naturally Occurring Pasteurized Emissions\u003c\/strong\u003e for maximum chaos credibility. Join in the Dairy Doomaination and bring and wear it with pride.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThis isn’t just a shirt. It’s a confession. A warning. A badge of honor. Perfect for anyone who’s ever rolled the dice on dairy and lived to tell the tale.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You Need It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003ePremium print that survives even your worst lactose decisions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eSoft, breathable fabric — because your stomach already suffers enough\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eA design bold enough to say what your body’s been screaming for years\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eCrop‑dusting approved (spiritually, not legally)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Vibe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eSmug. Silly. Slightly dangerous. Wear it loud. Wear it proud. Let the world know your emissions are \u003cstrong\u003enaturally occurring\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eMLKFRTS certified\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for a soft, lightweight feel\u003cbr\u003e- Retail fit with ribbed knit crew collar and side seams for lasting shape\u003cbr\u003e- Crisp, detailed prints applied with DTF\/DTG techniques on chest, sleeve and back\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label and shoulder tape for comfort and stability\u003cbr\u003e- REACH certified; responsibly manufactured with Fair Labor standards\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":56535051501734,"sku":"16354317371411305876","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Athletic 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