{"product_id":"mlkfrts-certifiable-vintage-milk-jug-zip-up-hoodie","title":"MLKFRTS \"Certifiable\"  Vintage Milk Jug Zip-Up Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFull Zip Hoodie\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eofficially unofficial\u003c\/em\u003e seal of the United States Dairy Authority just leveled up — now on the heavyweight zip‑up built for year‑round comfort. Featuring the smiling milk bottle proudly releasing its “naturally occurring pasteurized emissions,” this hoodie delivers peak deadpan government‑parody energy with premium streetwear construction.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Hoodie Goes Hard\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIndependent Trading Co. SS4500Z\u003c\/strong\u003e — the industry’s go‑to premium zip hoodie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMidweight fleece\u003c\/strong\u003e — warm, soft, and perfect for layering\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSplit front zipper\u003c\/strong\u003e — easy on\/off, clean silhouette\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJersey‑lined hood\u003c\/strong\u003e — structured, comfortable, and built to last\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRibbed cuffs \u0026amp; waistband\u003c\/strong\u003e — keeps its shape without stretching out\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHigh‑resolution print\u003c\/strong\u003e — crisp lines, bold text, and a dairy mascot with questionable emissions protocol\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKangaroo pockets\u003c\/strong\u003e — stash your phone, keys, or emergency lactose pills\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Vibe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThis hoodie looks like standard‑issue apparel for a federal dairy inspector who takes their job \u003cem\u003eway\u003c\/em\u003e too seriously — which is exactly why it works. Clean, official, and absurd in the best way. Perfect for fans of parody agencies, milk‑based mischief, and anyone who enjoys humor delivered with a straight face.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit Notes\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eTrue to size with a classic unisex fit. Not oversized, not slim — just right. Size up if you want a roomier, streetwear‑leaning silhouette.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 80% cotton \/ 20% polyester fleece (heavier 8.5 oz fabric) for warmth and softness\u003cbr\u003e- Jersey-lined hood with metal eyelets and drawcord for comfort and durability\u003cbr\u003e- Split-stitch double-needle seams, twill neck tape, and 1x1 ribbed cuffs \u0026amp; waistband for long-lasting shape\u003cbr\u003e- Metal kissing zipper for smooth, durable closure; reinforced with double stitching\u003cbr\u003e- Printed graphics on chest, sleeve, and back with a vintage-inspired milk mascot design\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":56535042326694,"sku":"78763259226845852438","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Classic Navy","offer_id":56535042359462,"sku":"23813723997599665487","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":56535042392230,"sku":"12129417117623063699","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Charcoal Heather","offer_id":56535042424998,"sku":"21934085927353638453","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":56535042457766,"sku":"53569087385546151329","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Classic Navy","offer_id":56535042490534,"sku":"68070054782343796110","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":56535042523302,"sku":"58863491027728733433","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal Heather","offer_id":56535042556070,"sku":"19900557935603997773","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":56535042588838,"sku":"20861674081887021709","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Classic Navy","offer_id":56535042621606,"sku":"18906092498683997926","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":56535042654374,"sku":"51499310806891027326","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal Heather","offer_id":56535042687142,"sku":"21267435955852099549","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":56535042719910,"sku":"95661958547516794691","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Classic Navy","offer_id":56535042752678,"sku":"56926888504249863014","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":56535042785446,"sku":"66214785065463603484","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal Heather","offer_id":56535042818214,"sku":"61353080645564448341","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":56535042850982,"sku":"15981428839893377034","price":77.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Classic Navy","offer_id":56535042883750,"sku":"31878457137326568855","price":77.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":56535042916518,"sku":"29642349197318696090","price":77.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal Heather","offer_id":56535042949286,"sku":"21226990794840960213","price":77.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0745\/2318\/1222\/files\/17916388018444817674_2048.jpg?v=1779845086","url":"https:\/\/mlkfrts.com\/products\/mlkfrts-certifiable-vintage-milk-jug-zip-up-hoodie","provider":"MLKFRTS","version":"1.0","type":"link"}