County of Peculiar Pastures · Dept. of Mild Concerns · Intake DeskRm. 105 · Now Accepting
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County of Peculiar Pastures Department of Mild Concerns

Intake Desk · Rm. 105

Something slightly off? Report it here. Damaged parcels, wrong sizes, lost orders, dairy-related incidents and general unease are received at this desk, logged in the order they arrived, and handled with the seriousness they mildly deserve.

File a Concern

Concerns Received  ·  Est. After the Fact

Intake Counter · Take a number.

What Are You Reporting?

Choose the window that best describes your situation. If none apply, choose Window 1. Window 1 is used to this.

Window 1 · Form DMC-2 General Mild Concern

Something is slightly off and you would like it on the record.

File a concern →
Window 2 · Form DMC-2 Damaged, Lost or Wrong Order

Parcel arrived dented, damp, wrong, or not at all. Bring your order number and a photo.

Report order trouble →
Window 3 · Form DMC-2 Size Exchange

It fit in theory. Unworn, unwashed, tags on, within 30 days of delivery.

Request an exchange →
Window 4 · Form DDS-1 Dairy Disaster Statement

Something happened and dairy was involved. Give a statement.

Give a statement →
Window 5 · Rm. 111 Just Have a Question?

Answers are kept at the Office of Public Information, next door.

Visit Rm. 111 →
Window 6 · Notice DMC-001 Active Public Notice

Posted in public. Scanned by the curious. Still in effect. Do not remove.

Read the notice →
Form DMC-2 · Concern ReportDept. of Mild Concerns · Rm. 105

Report a Concern

Complete all applicable fields. Inapplicable fields may be left blank or filled with feelings. Concerns are reviewed in the order received, usually within one to two business days.

Photos of damage? Send them to support@mlkfrts.com with your order number in the subject line. This form does not accept evidence directly.

Filing a concern does not make it less mild. It does make it official.

Rm. 111 · Next door

Answers Are Kept Next Door

The Department takes reports. The Office of Public Information gives answers: shipping times, returns, exchanges, and the questions everyone asks eventually. Check there first. It may save you a form.

Visit the Office of Public Information

Supply Office · Cleared for public wear

Approved Goods

Passed inspection. Mostly. Wear the notice home.

Shop Peculiar Pastures

Directory

OTHER DEPARTMENTS

All goods certified peculiar.

No actual dairy was harmed in the making of this website.

The cows remain under observation.

This desk accepts concerns. It does not accept blame.

Satire. This is not an official government page. Form DMC-2 · Dept. of Mild Concerns